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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26246692">the moon is dead</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakuma_ritsu/pseuds/sakuma_ritsu'>sakuma_ritsu</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, Panic Attacks, distant isara mao, im so sorry ritsumao fans, ritsu breaking basically, sakuma ritsu has BPD, sakuma ritsu has abandonment issues, trickstar only mentioned</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 13:20:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>409</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26246692</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakuma_ritsu/pseuds/sakuma_ritsu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>But at this point… Ritsu had faded into a background character in Maa-k-... Ma-... Isara-kun’s life… somewhere he never expected to be…</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Isara Mao/Sakuma Ritsu, Isara Mao/Sakuma Ritsu (one sided), onesided is up to your interpretation</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>the moon is dead</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is a vent fic/drabble. im using ritsu to project and also i've been meaning to write ritsumao for a while now so,,,,</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ritsu… couldn't explain it. He couldn’t explain, where or why, the sudden, crippling feelings of abandonment would come and go. There was no reason to feel such things… Maa-kun wouldn’t leave him after all… but… Ritsu couldn’t help but look at trickstar as his competition for Maa-kun’s attention. Ritsu has been with Maa-kun since they were itty-bitty children… would Maa-kun let something like that be so easily replaced…? No… no Maa-kun wouldn’t…</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>So… so why did Maa-kun care about his unit mates more than he cared about Ritsu…? Why… Why did Maa-kun change so much entering their third year… It’s like… Maa-kun cared about anyone <b>other </b>than Ritsu… like… Ritsu didn’t matter to Maa-kun anymore, and anyone else would do…</p><p> </p><p>Ritsu knew he could be difficult… a pest… a burden on his loved ones… but for Maa-kun to just leave him like this…? It's… not right… Maa-kun wouldn’t abandon him… Maa-kun wouldn’t be like Anija… Maa-kun was better Maa-kun would never do that <em> Maa-kun loves him Maa-kun cares about him Maa-kun meant all his gentle words Maa-kuncareshecareshecaresRitsuisspecialtohim- </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> …. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> …. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> …. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Ritsu… was special to Maa-kun  Mao… right? Ritsu… Ritsu meant as much to Mao as Mao did to Ritsu… yes… that… that’s what Mao told Ritsu… did Mao lie to Ritsu..? That’s absolutely inexcusable why would Mao lie to Ritsu and make him feel a form of self worth- </p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>Ritsu halted his train of thought. He was aware his thoughts were spiralling out of control again… Maa-kun did care… he did care… but if Maa-kun did care…</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Then why did Isara care about absolutely anyone but Ritsu himself? Ritsu just wanted his ‘Maa-kun’ back, he wanted the Maa-kun who would fret over ‘Ritchan’, he wanted the Maa-kun who would give Ritsu as much attention as RItsu desired, He wanted to be treated differently to the others… </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> …. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>But at this point… Ritsu had faded into a background character in Maa-kun- Mao- Isara-kun’s life… somewhere he never expected to be…</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p>…</p><p>Tears trailed down the pale cheeks of the raven haired vampire, illuminated by the moonlight peeking through the cracks of the curtains of his room. Heavy breathing accompanied the tears, a choked sob as well… Ritsu pulled his knees to his chest, and buried his face into his knees… </p><p> </p><p>He mumbled a singular sentence in between his uncontrollable weeping, in the softest voice he has ever mustered…</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>“M-...maa-kun… p..please don’t… don’t leave me alone… d-don’t.. Don’t leave me in the dark alone…”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this is the first time i've written ritsumao. and yes, im going to regret this in 12 hours.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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